Relocating to a dream destination like Hawaii isn’t all sunsets and sandy beaches. And we can’t wait to hear your stories about that. However, a recent article about a Bay Area couple’s seemingly ill-fated attempt to settle in France struck a chord with those who have attempted moves similar to those in Hawaii.
Joanna and Ed McIsaac-Kierklo’s frustration with French life—the food, culture shock, and bureaucracy—mirrors the challenges faced by people who relocate to the islands with little preparation or understanding of Hawaii’s unique way of life.
Their story teaches us about moving to Hawaii and why it’s essential to approach any perceived paradise with wide-open eyes.
Expecting the familiar in an unfamiliar place: Hawaii or France.
For Joanna and Ed, life in France soon turned sour when they found themselves unprepared for cultural differences and the everyday realities of their new home. In short, they didn’t do the research needed before moving. They missed familiar aspects of life in California, from the food to their primary care physician and a predictable bureaucracy.
Hawaii newcomers often experience a similar culture shock, discovering that aspects of island life may differ from what they’re accustomed to. These include slower service speeds, limited options, and the importance of who they know on the island, which may differ from what they’re accustomed to.
As a Beat of Hawaii reader, Sara M. previously said, “I moved to Kauai last year thinking it would be like San Diego with better views and weather. I quickly realized it was a whole different world. Things move slower, and you can’t expect the same conveniences or ways of doing things. Not at all!”
This disconnect between expectation and reality can quickly create frustration for those who arrive to live in the islands without an appreciation for Hawaii’s unique culture and lifestyle. Embracing the slower pace and adjusting expectations can ease the transition, making it easier to enjoy what Hawaii truly offers.
Misunderstanding local culture and customs.
Joanna and Ed also struggled to adapt to local customs that seem obvious even to visitors in France, saying they found the French “too private” for their liking.
This echoes a common issue among newcomers to Hawaii who underestimate the importance of understanding local customs and respecting cultural norms. For instance, Hawaii is deeply rooted in the Aloha spirit and community values, and an overly assertive or impatient approach from new transplants can be off-putting to residents.
Long-time Maui resident and commenter Daniel O. said, “People come here expecting a postcard version of Hawaii but often act like it’s an extension of California. That’s not how it works here. Aloha isn’t just a word; it’s a way of living.”
Facing unique bureaucratic challenges.
Bureaucratic challenges were a major source of frustration for Joanna and Ed in France, where even setting up a bank account felt like a never-ending battle. Newcomers to Hawaii may encounter somewhat different but equally confounding bureaucratic processes. And they won’t find their mainland bank here either, by the way.
Securing long-term housing, finding certain products on-island—or expecting Amazon next-day delivery—can be surprisingly troubling, tricky, and time-consuming, especially for those unfamiliar with island norms who are slow to adapt.
Reader Lisa H. commented, “When I moved to Kauai, getting a new driver’s license and having my car registered and navigating the whole process was way more complicated and took far longer than I thought. Island time is real! You can’t just expect things to work as they do on the mainland.”
For those moving to Hawaii, patience and a flexible mindset go a long way. Understanding that things may not operate with the same efficiency or availability can help alleviate frustrations that newcomers often experience.
The importance of language and communication.
While Joanna and Ed’s struggles to learn the necessary French language added to their isolation, Hawaii presents its own communication nuances. Even Hawaii’s unique blend of English, Hawaiian words, and Pidgin can feel unfamiliar. Newcomers who take the time to understand common Hawaiian terms, including pronunciation and island geography, will feel more connected.
Language isn’t merely a barrier—it’s an entry point into Hawaii’s culture. Taking the time to understand and respect these local nuances shows that you’re committed to becoming a long-term part of the community rather than simply transplanting a mainland lifestyle, likely on a short-term basis.
Social isolation without a community effort.
Social isolation was another challenge that ultimately sent Joanna and Ed back to the U.S. They found it hard to make friends without a strong network or willingness and ability to integrate. Hawaii, though welcoming, values genuine connection.
Newcomers often expect the same level of instant social ease they find on the mainland, only to realize that meaningful relationships take significant time. Those of us who have lived decades or generations in Hawaii are honestly slow to welcome newcomers, mainly because they don’t want to invest in people who are unlikely to be around in a year.
As commenter Naomi S. observed, “Hawaii feels like home for those who invest in it. You’ve got to show up for community events, support local businesses, and get to know people, albeit slowly. It’s not just about living in paradise; it’s about belonging here.”
Making Hawaii feel like home requires building connections, respecting local traditions, and actively engaging with the community. Hawaii’s social circles can be close-knit, but they open up slowly to those who show respect and commitment.
Romanticizing the move without realistic preparation.
The couple’s seemingly bizarre story also highlights a final, crucial lesson for those dreaming of a Hawaii move: idealizing paradise without proper preparation can lead to disillusionment. Many arrive in Hawaii expecting a constant vacation only to be caught off guard by the realities of high living costs, housing scarcity, and a different, slower pace. Preparing financially and emotionally for these adjustments is essential for a fulfilling experience.
Kona resident Paul K. shared, “I’ve seen people come to the islands with no plan, thinking it’ll just work out because ‘it’s Hawaii.’ Most leave disappointed. Those who succeed have prepared and really understand what it means to live here.”
With a mix of preparation, respect, and flexibility, Hawaii or France can be the paradise people dream of. The key is embracing the challenges as much as the beauty and understanding that these are not simply places to live—they are unique cultures and communities to be a part of.
Final thoughts: learning from big missteps.
The story of Joanna and Ed’s failed attempt to build a new life in France serves as a powerful reminder for those dreaming of a move to Hawaii. Like France, Hawaii has its own cultural expectations, pace, and challenges. Success in Hawaii often comes down to adaptability, respect for the local way of life, and realistic expectations. As much as Hawaii welcomes newcomers, it’s up to each individual to adjust, embrace the culture, and recognize that paradise requires an open mind.
Have you moved to Hawaii or another dream destination and encountered any of these challenges? What were your experiences and suggestions for others considering a similar move? Please share your thoughts with us below!
It’s been my experience that too many new transplants not only expect island life to conform to them, they will demand it instead of they needing to conform to the rhythm of life in Hawaii. That attitude usually results in a huffy ticket back to the CONUS for most of them in ~ a year on average… Good riddance too.
Stationed in Europe for many years near the French Border. Went often. Had a great time. One little tidbit, never – never start a conversation with the French without saying “Bonjour” first. Considered to be very bad form by the French and things usually go down hill from there.
Best Regards
My husband and I moved to oahu in 2018 after many years of vacationing on all the islands. We had very little trouble getting involved with our neighbors. We always understood the Aloha spirit and respected the language and culture. We are so happy we made the move.
Rent for at least 3 moths before committing to the move wherever you move
You will never find a place to rent for 3 month only in Hawaii. Unless a longterm Airbnb. Super expensive and rare.
In fact you will be lucky to find anything to rent for a year at least on Maui where I live.
Just an FYI.
But yes you do need to take time to know the culture and lifestyle but need to be here awhile.
Know somebody who will rent you a room is best bet for Maui.
And if you go to the big Island it is even a bigger culture shock.
Very spread out. But most isolated.
Oahu is the closet thing to mainland but a million people and high rent and traffic on very jammed highways in the Honolulu side of Island
I moved to Hawaii from Australia in 2001. It had been a lifelong dream of mine, and after being successful in the green card lottery my dream became a reality. I had no problem adapting to ‘island life’, I loved the relaxed attitude of the locals and the adherence to local culture. However, I worked for a company who dealt alot with mainlanders, and this is where I had issues. To begin with, so many people could not understand my accent! I found it difficult to wrap my head around a relaxed lifestyle being dictated by employers who expected you to be available and on call 24/7. In Australia nobody expects you to be available once your working day is over. The cost of living scared me, and the constant questions from people who could not understand why I would move from one country to another became really tiresome. I ended up getting a job offer in the UK that I couldn’t turn down, so I moved. I have no regrets, it seems island life and life in the US was not for me.
Aloha, In 1993 my husband and I moved from suburban Minneapolis Minnesota to the Caribbean. Before making such a drastic lifestyle change we had our ducks in a row after years of planning based on cost of living, job opportunities, and local history. Our children were grown and we were looking for an additional life experience that would enhance and educate ourselves as well as our boys in a new cultural experience.Successfully making a move away from the states as ex-pats for 6 years in the Virgin Islands eventually led us to Maui.What we learned from past experiences on St. Thomas was a love and appreciation of new perspectives based on knowing and embracing local customs and history. We continued that philosophy on Maui.As a result we were able to forge long lasting and meaningful friendships…and isn’t that what life is all about?
Aloha nui loa,
Carol C
UpCountry Maui
Resident 25+ years
Joanna and Ed would have been better off moving from California to Hawaii. They’re both Blue States, the Political Sphere is Similar, Prices are Similar, the largest obstacle would be which Island better suits their lifestyle. France, on the other hand, is a totally different everything, except that they are still “Human.” Hawaii has some that hold signs, insult tourists, and blame Everything on Anyone else. France takes that to New Levels, having plenty of practice over the past several centuries. They have that “Quaintness” (another way of saying Old, Run Down) thing going on as if the roaring 20’s was still going on (1920’s). Sometimes, I think that if it wasn’t for the Expensive, Plentiful, Wine (it tastes like vinegar) even the French would abandon the Country! Moving there must have been akin to asking to be tortured. There should be a Warning from the State Department, Level 4!!!
We recently visited Tahiti, which we thoroughly enjoyed Except for our interactions with the French. They were rude and arrogant and made it very clear that they had no respect whatsoever for Americans. The native Tahitians were absolutely lovely by contrast. I have no interest in ever visiting France after that experience.
When I first started visiting Oahu, I was captivated by the beauty, perfect weather, and laid-back lifestyle. I thought, ‘I want to move here!’ Having a few friends already on the island made it even more tempting, and I began looking at condos with a real estate agent.
But over time, as I kept visiting, I began to realize that beyond the stunning scenery and lifestyle, the island didn’t offer as much as I’d hoped in terms of long-term fulfillment. I also noticed some of the challenges locals face, like crime and poverty—things most tourists don’t see. There’s a seedy underbelly to the island that I completely missed until after a number of visits.
While I’d still love to have a place on Oahu for extended stays, living there full-time isn’t for me. I think I’d get island fever pretty quickly. Like they say, nice place to visit, but wouldn’t want to live there.
I have lived exclusively on island and also in both places. You need to simply live and respect wherever you are, and ‘Do as the Romans do” or leave.
Simple.
My husband & I moved to Oahu from Calif in 2000. We lived there for 20 years. We also brought our 2 dogs with us. Back in 2000, dogs had to be quarantined for 30 days. We did a lot of research, we visited Hawaii several times to research where we wanted to live and eventually bought a condo. Bringing our 2 dogs required much research and preparation. Our move to Oahu went without a hitch. Getting our driver’s license and registering our 2 cars was a breeze, particularly comparing the process to Calif. Getting established with doctors also went well.
We visited our 2 fur babies in quarantine every day. Our transition was easy and fun. We always judged how acclimated we were becoming by the number of U-turns we made in a given day. So, in conclusion our transition was good, our life in Oahu for 20 years was awesome, just do your homework/research, and remember, moving to the Islands is making them your home, your not going on vacation.
Failure to recognize and embrace the local culture is the primary reason mainland transplants are not successful. Those who move here for sun, sand, and sea are doomed to fail if they don’t work towards adapting and integrating into our kinder, more authentic culture. And those who seek to rebuild here exactly what they left behind are usually the first to fail. It’s something tourists rarely get a glimpse of.
Learn a few words of Hawaiian. Learn about Hawaiian music, history, and cultural values. Join a paddling club or hula hālau. Learn how to talk story. It will take time and may prove more challenging for some than others, but persistence, patience, and aloha, will eventually lead to becoming a welcomed member of the community.
Drew, they were living in California before moving to California. Other than learning some language and heritage, they would almost immediately fit in!
Aloha, Yes, I moved yo Oahu with a job transfer from California in 2006. I grew up visiting Hawaii so I was familiar with the culture and ohana. I truly embraced the culture before I even lived there. I was living in San Diego coastal for 33 yrs. So when I got the job and move to Hawaii I was ready for the change. When I arrived I believed that I was a guest even living there and embraced the culture, beliefs and slowed down. It was heaven for me. The only reason I moved back to California is because 2008 hit and I was in Real Estate and the economy hit rock bottom. I remember being at the airport and so many local families where leaving too. It was so sad. It’s still my fav place to go on vacation. Going to two or three islands during two to three weeks. And always special occasions like turning 50. Next year I’ll be turning 60 and plan to do a three island (Kauai, Oahu, Big Island) vacation. Miss Hawaii everyday. Much Aloha, Kimberly R
I remember when visiting Hawaii for the 1st time in December 1989 and my husband not understanding why I was crying when we left …that was our honeymoon and after 20 years, he became an ex and I left a sign on the fridge that read “you go your way, I go to Maui”.
Sadly due to a divorce I was forced to sell my home on Oahu and thought taking the children to Tampa might help their broken hearts as it had beaches and similar weather. Well that was a mistake- first day at beach there my then 6 year old said this beach sucks (no waves to surf🤣)! Then 2 months later Hurricane Ian…then there’s the road rages, high cost of insurance both home and car …and more hurricanes! I wish I had the money to return to HI! I miss authentic people and the aloha spirit. I never even minded the H-1 back ups as the scenery was so pretty and usually a rainbow. But putting house on market next week and leaving FL. I really think you need to do your homework no matter where moving. I could have afforded to have stayed in Hawaii for sure back then with what I paid in FL! Oh and another lesson- don’t listen to your ex!
Maybe they now realize what struggles immigrants to This country have to go through. It took me more than 6 months to open a bank account because you needed a social security number. Oh, and when I did get my social security card, it said in big letters “not valid for employment”. It took another year to get a labor certificate and even though I had a sponsor (a patent & trademark lawyer who needed my language skills), it took 3 more years to get a green card! Ironically, I lived in the South of France before with no problems at all
The first winter we came for four months while taking a sabbatical from public school teaching on the mainland. My then husband and I immediately got our substitute teacher licenses and began working in the public schools. I also volunteered for one hour every day at Koloa Elementary working with children who needed extra help in conjunction with one of the first grade teachers. We enrolled our son in Koloa Elementary and our daughter in the pre-school next door. Since retiring from teaching I have spent each winter (except for pandemic years) on Kauai, always living on the south shore and substitute teaching. I got to know many teachers & children and became a part of the community. The best way to become a local is to volunteer consistently with an organization. Your extra hands and other experiences can be valuable help. Get to know your pharmacist, postal and store clerks, and be friendly but quiet! Don’t be a loud or bossy person. Doing so, I get along fine in France, too.
My late husband and I moved from Big Island to Phuket Island, Thailand, 2005, as expats. He died 2015. I remained 5 more years, returning home, this time to Waikiki, 2020.
We had friends who had visited. We went to Thailand many times before moving.
Important not to want to change their country to fit your life experience. Embrace the differences.
Acclimating is important. Respecting their laws and culture is essential.
Wouldn’t change my life there, and happy to be home, also.
Aloha,
Sharon
🌺 🌺 🌺
We just moved here from Northern California. We have traveled to the Islands for many years and purchased a condominium in Oahu 20+ years ago. The condo was used as a rental and when we decided it was time to move here we asked the tenants to move. After making some upgrades to the unit we finally moved here with our small dog. We do have long time friends who live here and have been very helpful.
We have our drivers license and both PCP and Dentist!
Happy here and have the patience necessary to wait for things.
Love the article! I am a real estate agent on the big island. I work with a lot of people that relocate here and there are some stories! People will move out here without a plan, they purchased property sight unseen, and they have unrealistic expectations. I always advise people to come out here to look at what they’re going to buy and make sure that it’s going to fit within their plan and expectations. When they don’t, it’s always a disaster.
I agree, Andy. I am a Realtor in Maui and would prefer people come to see any properties they might be interested in purchasing, unless they know the area well or at least have relatives or friends here who look out for them. I did have a client from Seattle buying a condo in Washington, DC and I was very worried when she made an offer for my listing sight unseen, but we ended up being best friends and we had many transactions after that. That said, her daughter lived in DC!
Dysfunctional bureaucracy in Hawai’i is not Aloha issue. It’s a political issue. Put incompetent people in charge and then deal with the headaches they create for everyone.