Stopping Toxic Talk: Hawaii Visitors + Locals Find A Path Forward

Can Hawaii visitors and locals get along? Read our thoughts below for both groups and please add your thoughts to the discussion.

We know that all visitors aren’t entitled. And neither do all residents vilify visitors. But the most outspoken on both sides would definitely lead you to think otherwise. Reader Joy pleaded, “…we are not entitled. But we feel we may be treated that way by people who dislike tourists.”

Regarding exampes of the extreme, we’re reminded again of Native Hawaiian Lily Hi’ilani Okimura, the Oahu resident with  97,00 TikTok followers who vociferously demands that visitors not come to Hawaii. And then there’s the recent visitor who was trespassing at Akaka Falls, nearly died, endangered the life of the person who saved them, and then didn’t even have the courtesy to say thank you. Or the viral videos of trespassing at the controversial Haiku Stairs.

Absurd costs, visitor fees, travel issues, plus bad press, and online toxicity collide.

It’s just hard to catch a break for any of us right now. So here are a few thoughts.

1. First, just what went wrong with the long-standing idea of being able to escape to Hawaii for a few days or a week, anyway. And who doesn’t need that kind of relief right about now.

1. The world changed with Covid, and there’s no signs it’s ever returning to normal. Travel, in some ways, seems to exemplify the change. The differences, for the worse, are palpable here in the islands. The dreaded term “revenge travel” is seen as an attitude of entitlement by some. While it isn’t new, and doesn’t represent a majority for sure, it’s far worse than before.

2. Even though most visitors do care about Hawaii, and in part that’s why the islands have among the highest return visitor rates anywhere, the positive has become less apparent next to the negative.

3. Visitors wish to enjoy Hawaii’s weather, the water, and our lifestyle and culture. And they do benefit residents financially, no matter what’s said to the contrary.

4. With no replacement for tourism on the horizon, a shift in attitudes is essential. Hawaii has done absolutely nothing to change its reliance on travel, and it appears the state never will. Talk to the contrary is hot air.

Suggestions for visitors.

Lower your expectations. What more needs to be said. Realize that the world and Hawaii just don’t operate as well as they did before. But don’t let that ruin your Hawaii travel experience, or that of your hosts.

Please “malama” take care of Hawaii. That means don’t harm the environment, wildlife or the residents. Acknowledge that Hawaii is overrun with tourism, and please be respectful of that. It’s not a joke. Think of that when considering where to park, for example.

Experience Aloha when you visit here; and it starts with you. Give what you’d like to receive, and be in for a pleasant surprise in return.

Help contribute to the feeling of symbiosis between visitors and residents. Don’t complain and pout that you aren’t coming back. We’ve heard it enough, and it just doesn’t matter. Choose to have a good time instead! It’s within your ability, after all.

Suggestions for residents.

We acknowledge there’s a true discontent among residents with the unmanageable aspects of Hawaii tourism. It’ll take a concerted effort to find workable ways to mitigate those issues, including the sheer number of visitors, their impacts on daily life and on the environment, and the lack of appropriate infrastructure that supports us all.

There’s the realization that our own awareness of tourism’s impact changed on a dime after Covid, and the whiplash of an unexpected tourism rebound that followed. Yet studies continue to show that residents’ perception of tourism is relatively high. Most recently, the average ranking was 8 on a scale of 1 to 10.

No one can speak for Hawaii, be it here, on TicTok, or on Facebook. We have a wide range of viewpoints on tourism, the industry which impacts everyone’s life. And not everyone wants to throw the baby out with the bath water. In other words, to let go of something valuable.

We hope that Hawaii continues to express its Aloha to visitors in its unique ways. Most people here want visitors to enjoy Hawaii while appreciating those things that we love too.

How can Hawaii visitors and residents find a way to work together?

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57 thoughts on “Stopping Toxic Talk: Hawaii Visitors + Locals Find A Path Forward”

  1. All you have to do is treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated and i think there will be instant good treatment back

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  2. Loved on Maui for 5 years and Oahu for 10 years. Grew up in Boston and New Jersey considered by many to be the rudest people around. In fact it’s the opposite. Anyway you will have _____ wherever you go. I used to love working lahaina it was like being on vacation. Everyone in a good mood. Loved in Waikiki at the waipuna for 5 years walked the Hilton and kalakua every day to the park and back. Some people are just miserable no matter where they are. Not sure if I was considered local but my wife looks hawaiian so maybe we got a pass. What exactly is a local very few native Hawaiians left and those I knew were respectful of almost everyone. Seemed to be those with bad parenting that caused problem with ignorance which is everywhere.

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  3. Hawaii is both a physical place and a state of mind. The real vs. the imagined. For some of us, the islands have been a place of Joy and beauty for years. We come, we respect the land and the residents just as we would our own families. For the rest, quit complaining that the imagined does not match the reality. If you don’t like it, stay home. Go somewhere else. Ruin someone else’s experience. Hawaii is a wonderful experience if you just give it a chance. The Aloha Spirit is alive if given just a chance. Lay back, lower expectations and have a great vacation.

    3
    1. “Lower expectations” has been repeated quite a few times. Expectations are relative. Is Walt Disney really to blame? Are unfulfilled expectations a good explanation for lack of civility?

  4. Something to consider:

    In much of the discussion on this board, a common theme seems to be a reminder to visitors to become familiar with (and pay respect to) the customs of Hawaii. Furthermore, this logic seems to be applicable simply because it is Hawaii.

    Why should expectations for visiting Hawaii be any different than visiting ANY place, anywhere in the world? With very few exceptions, no matter where we travel on this big blue ball, we are passing through a place some number of people likely call home.

    I understand the focus on Hawaii on this webpage, and that’s okay. We should be cautious that focus does not turn to myopia….

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    1. Well stated…I think that is where a lot of the frustration stems from for visitors.

      When someone says I am not sure if I want to visit Hawaii anymore, it shouldn’t be viewed as complaining or whining, it is someone expressing frustration with many of the comments that they read from locals that don’t seem to want visitors or don’t feel respected, no matter what.

      Again, as so many have expressed, it is a vocal minority and ultimately you have to base your viewpoint of Hawaii on your experiences, not necessarily what you read in a forum.

      4
  5. It’s not only Hawaii who suffers and benefits from tourism. I live in both FL and CO and its a pain in the butt to deal with crowds, rudeness and ignorance on both sides of the spectrum. Both Residents and Tourists are disappointed and taken advantage of. “Disrespect on both sides of the aisle.”

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    1. Janis M.,
      If you want solitude and no crowds, I suggest you move to a different area. I also reside in Florida (Daytona area) and I actually love to see all of the tourists having fun. I have not in all my years of living here (36 Yrs.) seen rude and obnoxious people on either side of the aisle. There will always be a few people that are annoying but you have to take the bitter with the sweet. Loosen up and enjoy the ride! That is what life is all about!

      6
  6. Most folks, residents and visitors alike, behave well.

    Some, including myself, make too much of the small amount of bad behavior. Or, as I’m guilty of, bashing the governor. In my own case, I live in California and could care less who bashes our worthless governor. So, I sometimes feel free to bash Ige – I’ll be more careful in the future.

    Let’s try to be friendly with our fellow Americans.

    See you in September. In July we sold our timeshare – my health is a problem for travel – thought we would not be in Hawaii again. But, it looks like we have one more trip. After visiting for 57 years, this may well be the end for us.

    6
    1. Rod W.,
      Truer words were never spoken. I am sorry to hear that you are not in the best of health and I hope you enjoy your trip to Hawaii this year. Aloha!

      2
  7. I grew up in Honolulu and when I visit with my family, it feels like I am home. We try to treat all who we come in contact with, with respect just as if we were back on the mainland. We have never felt anything but gracious aloha back from locals. With all that said, I have witnessed not so respectful visitors and cringe. I do wonder if some of these visitors are like that, no matter where they travel to. It’s a shame, just the same. Thank you for welcoming the world to your shores. We are lucky to be able to visit, even tho it’s not always a pleasure for the residents. Missing my home away from home…

    3
  8. Hi BOH guys
    Have you ever done a story on the locals who scam tourists on the Waikiki strip? They come down acting all friendly share a drink then want to drink all of yours. Hit on your women or men. Make up stories about what your spouse or sig other said when you went away. Yeah this all happened to me and they destroyed a long term friendship I had.
    I stopped in at local food joints and all welcomed me with open arms. Every local non beach person I met were all wonderful

    1
    1. It’s been 5 or more years, but we used to sit on the lip by the Macy’s windows. We didn’t get hassled by locals or anyone else. Except one of the pimps would come and sit and tell us about how he protested “his” girls.

      Also, all the street vendors/entertainers and their crowds blocking the streets.

      Two things, I assume they live in Hawaii and I consider what they do to be a positive part of the vacation experience.

  9. Aloha BOH,
    Thank you for your balanced perspective. We have been fortunate to visit 5times/3 islands since Jan 2021. We consider it an unexpected gift & blessing. If not for Covid-19, we would’ve spent all these trips with our family in Greece & missed the Aloha we found in Hawaii. We respect the residents, we comply with any restrictions & do our best to protect the environment. We have made friends with those who take such good care of us each time we visit & make sure they are recognized for their hard work. We empathize with residents when tourists destroy & desecrate the land. Similar things have gone on in the Greek Islands for years. Respect all around goes a long way. Mahalo nui loa.

    1
  10. We have been visiting the Islands for twenty years and have used vacation homes every time from a resident’s garage conversion into a studio, to working farms. Our experiences with the folks who live and work in HI have been wonderful. I would say that is the primary reason we keep returning. I only hope we will be able to afford our vacations going forward. It’s not just HI, everywhere along the east coast vacation rentals and hotels are getting out of hand.

    2
  11. We are the United States of America, there are no visitors if the are from the USA. Respect of each other, our country, property and parks/city/state/federal land is just good common sense. More people should use their’s and we need less devise media posts.

    9
    1. You’d be wrong but that’s ok. We stole Hawaii so really it’s not ours. BOH is always very fair to show both sides

      4
      1. PaulC,

        So in your world, you would have preferred Hawaii to become part of the Japanese Empire. That worked out so well for millions of Chinese….and many others in the Pacific area….

        7
  12. I have been to Hawaii 3 times since it reopened and Every single person that I came in contact with could not have been nicer and very welcoming! Heading back in 2 weeks in fact! Love the islands!!

    6
  13. Hello BOH,
    While reading your latest post I had to smile at the comment “we’ll never be back”… as a “ancient” FA I cannot state the numerous times we heard pax state “ never flying this airline again”.. that is,
    until the ticket price is low enough 😂… In other words, never say never…
    Mahalo,
    Cheryl

    2
  14. Visitors need to remind themselves in regards to local Hawaiians you are entering their home. Please tread carefully and do not take unnecessaray risks and stay off sacred sites. You are a guest and should honor the residents with your appreciation. Adopt the aloha spirit. In the end the aloha will stay in your heart for having been a good guest.

    14
  15. To begin with, don’t ever say the world changed because of the new flu and is never returning. These problems weren’t caused by the new flu or by China, they were caused by the politicians in power in Hawaii and the world now by design. It’s up to all of us bring Hawaii back to the land of Aloha. If we really want the world to return to normal, all we have to do is get rid of all the politicians in power right now!

    4
  16. Yes the rhetoric is getting better, every tourist destination in the world is having the same experiences. Long lines, traffic delays, sky rocketed prices. Since I was born the population in the USA has more than doubled. All the beautiful places in our country and the world are experiencing the same issues.
    It is easy to limit arrivals to an island, don’t add more gates at the airports, stop building more resorts, restrict access to certain areas just using odd or even plate #s. Let’s try to find solutions! We know what the problems are

    1
  17. My family has occupied hawaii since 1917 does that make me a local? Or am I a resident? You can see the problem. Dividing people up like that is not helpful. Whomever made the comment “our leaders are responsible” is right about that.
    Who cares about mean tourists, they are mean at home too.

    5
    1. Yes, they maybe mean at home as well but since Hawaii has such a relatively small area the “meanness density” = meeanies/square_mile is much greater there.

      2
  18. In 2012 my wife’s boss said to us at a happy hour I tried texting you and you didn’t respond. I told him yeah we do t believe in it and social media it’ll be the ruin of society. Pretty much nailed it.

    4
  19. I like your news letter. This talk down is not a good look for it. You are discussing a phenomenon which is the subject of examination by congress, and is an international discussion on censorship. Every opinion is worth hearing and is important, whether or not we like it. One of the pillars of freedom in the USA, free speech. A generation learned to ignore rules of civility developed over thousands of years, Our leaders are responsible.
    FYI, Covid hysteria had a minimal impact compared to the devastation of the Holy Cleaner Iniki. I was there.

    8
    1. Respectfully can you please explain why you think this is talking down? I think the guys did a great job of explaining both sides and showing several opinions.
      Did I miss something?

      5
      1. Thank you for the opportunity. I believe offering advice on comportment during ordinary social intercourse is inappropriate for this forum.
        My comment, which was advice on how to run “beat of Hawaii”, was provocative enough for you to enquire, and seems as though you may think it is inappropriate for me to do so.
        The boys opened the door
        My humble opinion…

    2. Spreading lies and false information is not freedom of speech. And when the government censors you let me know. And no some opinions do not need to be heard
      The “Karen’s” have a sense of entitlement and sorry none have a valid opinion not need to be heard

  20. While it may be a desirable goal, stopping toxic talk is no longer possible in this time of social media. Schrödinger’s cat has left the box with no desire to have his fate determined.The only solution to this issue is to present the truth – unbiased truth – and gain the trust of readers. Understand that while Hawaii may be as beautiful a place as one can find on Earth, it is Not the only place people can choose as a vacation destination.

    If Hawaii truly wishes to decrease the number of visitors to the state, it needs to be ready for no sympathy or assistance from the Federal Government. Hawaii needs to develop additional means of self support by its own efforts. Best of luck with this…

    10
  21. I have been visiting Hawaii for the past 50 years. It has always been crowded, including 10-15 years ago when all the stores and restaurants were open and when there were so many foreign visitors. Bizarre that now everyone wants to complain about it. What is different is that not enough people want to work and businesses are suffering.

    10
  22. I’m always respectful when visiting Hawaii. I will continue to visit when time and money allows me the luxury of a trip to Hawaii. I have a friend who was born and raised in Honolulu. The reason I visit Hawaii is mainly to enjoy time with her and her family. I always learn new things about Hawaii from her and her family. Where I live in So Cal, we have many, many tourists too. We have beautiful beaches, mountains, parks and much more I already live in a beautiful area. I like the ocean water in Hawaii because I walk straight in and stay for a while floating and looking at the sky at Waikiki or I can go to a beach with waves so I can swim in the waves. I can stay in the water longer in Hawaii without getting cold. That’s what I like best.

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  23. Visitors will be accepted with Aloha when they see themselves as guests in our island home. Respect and humility toward the local people will result in acceptance and Aloha.

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  24. Mahalo Jeff and Rob for the ever informational and sometimes incredulous takes on people’s comments on this amazing forum,
    I’ve been watching and mostly shaking my head at the incredible divisions between we “locals” and our much appreciated visitors.
    Having lived here for decades, I’ve seen more than my share of both sides.
    I can tell you that most of the sour grapes coming from “locals are coming from those that aren’t true locals. They’re mostly recent transplants that seem to think their inhospitable opinion matters. True locals are thankful for the visitors to our islands and the lifestyle.
    On the other hand, Post COVID has caused division like never before.
    We just need to get back our symbiosis.
    Aloha nui always 🌺💕

    23
    1. Hi Pam.

      Thank you for your continued insights including in this important topic,from Maui. We appreciate it.

      Aloha.

      3
    2. As someone who has visited Maui and Oahu since the ’80’s, it doesn’t take that much effort to stop, look and listen to what’s going on around you while in the islands. It’s just common courtesy to treat peoples’ home with decency and respect. Aloha and malama. Love and respect. It’s flashing a shaka when someone let’s you into traffic. Perhaps saving your beach day for a day other than Saturday or Sunday when residents have those days off to enjoy that. Saying hello. It’s easy to behave in a pono way. I see local’s point on feeling shortchanged or boxed out of owning a home and raising a family in Hawaii. It’s tough. Expensive. Its a situation that is vexing to solve and feeds in the overall tension.

      1
  25. Gentlemen
    Kudos for what I consider your most well written article to date!!
    I think you nailed it on the head. We definitely don’t wanna hear the “I’m not coming back” threat anymore 😂
    For people visiting from places such as Phoenix, San Diego, etc. Imagine having a “snowbird” or “Zonie” season that Never Ends.
    That’s what it’s like living in Hawaii. Please show respect and I can promise you that you will be treated well by most.
    I’ve lived here many years and consider myself a resident but never refer to myself as local….I show the aloha and have never been treated poorly by locals.

    11
    1. Hi Chris.

      Thanks for your over 70 comments, your input on this important subject, and the nice words. You can see another comment wherein the post wasn’t apparently well received and was construed as a “talking down.”

      Aloha.

      5
  26. My husband and I have been to the islands numerous times. Each island is unique. We respect your land and culture. There have only been a couple of times we felt the locals did not want us “invading their space”; especially on the weekends when they were with their families and friends. We learned to respect that. Hawaiians work hard all week and want to spend time with each other without tourists all over them. There has to be understanding from both visitors and locals alike. Respect is what we need for each other and the land and culture. We can coincide together…..if we truly practice the Aloha Spirit. Looking forward to coming back next year.

    10
  27. Thank you for the comments on both sides of the issue. We have visited for 13 consecutive years with the exception of covid. We are so looking forward to returning again. We are hopeful that all visitors will show appreciation and respect to the residents as we have always done, and we are hopeful that they will welcome us back cordially. We love our state of Hawaii and its residents. Aloha.

    2
  28. I personally do not blame the locals at all. I saw so much disrespect of Hawaii when I was there last.
    Personally I try Not to look like a tourist when I am in Hawaii or anywhere else I travel. I show respect and always get respect back and usually a smile as well. So many feel entitled because they spent money to come to Hawaii.

    9
  29. We love Kauai and were so grateful to make our annual visit this year. Have things changed? Of course, just like everywhere else. We definitely went with lower expectations this year and that helped. Our Ohana were the same warm and caring people but the crowds were absurd! We did see many more angry and entitled tourists than usual but hey, that is their issue not ours! We had a wonderful time and will be back next year hoping for fewer tourists!❤️

    2
  30. We come to Kauai every year. We have always been treated with respect and kindness. We went in Oct. 20 and while shopping at Foodland we were stopped by a Hawaiian gentleman who thanked us for coming. Everywhere we went we were appreciated and treated in the Aloha way. We return in July and can’t wait to go to paradise. Aloha!!

    3
  31. It seems the horse is out of the barn. The “me” mindset of some visitors clashes with the “we” ethic Hawaii has been known for. Nothing stays the same but maybe some return to more positivity will prevail, I hope so.

    1
  32. Aloha! We visited in April from Clearwater FL,(which has a lot of tourists) and I was extremely pleased with our Oahu experience. Everyone we met was friendly, didn’t get upset, and made us feel welcome. At home, we sometimes meet the entitled tourist, but they need to park the attitude at home. They may be well known somewhere, but they are unknown here. I met many people in Hawaii just by saying Aloha or hello. I’ve found many are a bit shy to speak unless addressed first. Make the first move people, it can be great. I’ve taken many a photo for tourists so everyone can be in the picture both home and in Hawaii and it’s an icebreaker that opens people up. Both sides just need to follow the golden rule. Mahala and Aloha

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  33. Thank you for this article. As a visitor who has loved coming to Hawaii for many years, I have a great appreciation for all who live on the Islands and all they work hard to do to make our visits as enjoyable as possible. We are all readjusting after these really bad last few years.
    I hope we may all take time to express our appreciation and Mahalos to each other.

    3
  34. One of the most beautiful places on earth. It should always be treasured and well taken care of and never abused by any one living or traveling to there. Magical people and Islands. We love it

    5
  35. “It’ll take a concerted effort to find workable ways to mitigate those issues, including the sheer number of visitors, their impacts on daily life and on the environment, and the lack of appropriate infrastructure that supports us all.”

    Let’s look at the “lack of appropriate infrastructure”. Whos fault is that? Who shoulders the blame for not making things better as far as infrastructure is concerned? The Government, of course. Having been to Hawaii, I can attest that the Taxes on everything are sky high! Isn’t it justifiable, from a Locals standpoint, that a good portion of those Taxes taken should go towards infrastructure? If they aren’t, then ask yourself; “why aren’t they”? Maybe it is time to hold your elected Officials accountable.

    4
    1. (Cont. from above)
      Start electing those people that will have your best interest at heart when it comes to tourism and how it affects the Local population. Unless the residents of the Islands begin to push for the infrastructure that is needed, it won’t happen. Hawaii is a truly beautiful place and the Government should spend whatever it takes to help the Local population cope with all of the stress that comes with the huge tourist numbers. Aloha!

      6
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