For many travelers, Hawaii has been a cherished dream for decades, a vision of turquoise waters, golden beaches, and the promise of aloha. Yet when that long-imagined trip finally happens, it can feel different than expected. Rising costs, visible strain on the islands, and mixed messages from residents sometimes leave visitors wondering if they waited too long for a dream that has already changed.
One reader recently shared her own truth:
I am 70. I’ve wanted to visit Hawaii for more than 40 years. Finally, I am going, God willing. But I feel discouraged, to think that I’m spending all this money to go to a place where I’m considered a problem instead of a guest. I’m rather sad that the residents feel that way. (Maureen, BOH reader)
Why paradise is not what it used to be.
The world of travel has undergone significant changes everywhere. The most exotic Cook Islands is seeking ways to control travel growth, wanting to avoid Hawaii’s mistakes. Venice will again charge day visitors next year, tired of their toll and that of cruise crowds flooding its streets. Barcelona pushes back on rentals and flights. Swiss Alps villages struggle to balance Instagram fame with daily life. Tahiti, once another far-flung escape not far from Cooks, now grapples with limited capacity as demand explodes and the harsh realities of maintaining the quality of life amid tourism pressures.
No one can travel any longer expecting the same welcome or setting they would have found in 1985. Time moves, and places move with it.
Hawaii’s tourism dilemma is global.
Hawaii faces the blessings and burdens of being a global bucket list destination. The islands need visitors but struggle with how to welcome them. That balance is delicate, and not always the most gracefully managed.
Residents live with higher costs, pressure on infrastructure, and communities reshaped by tourism. Visitors feel the sting when they hear that not everyone wants them. This cycle breeds disappointment on both sides, as expectations and realities often fail to align.
The heartbreak of arriving too late.
Travel is not just about flights and hotels. It is about memory, meaning, and long-held dreams. That is why Maureen’s sadness cuts deep.
To dream of Hawaii for forty years, only to sense that the moment slipped away, is a personal loss. It is the feeling of being late to the party, of missing what once was. That story resonates far beyond Hawaii and touches anyone who has waited a lifetime for their own journey.
Are there any untouched places left?
Readers often ask if there are still destinations where travelers feel unconditionally welcomed, free of modern travel challenges. The truth is, the world feels far smaller now. Flights are faster, images spread instantly, and few places remain truly undiscovered.
Still, joy is not gone. You can find it in Hawaii’s beaches, trails, and people. You can find awe in The Cook Islands’ motus, Venice’s canals, or Tahiti’s lagoons. But these moments now sit beside higher costs, stricter rules, and residents with mixed feelings. That is the new reality of bucket list travel everywhere in the world.
A new way of dreaming.
The challenge may be to adjust how we dream. Rather than expecting Hawaii or anywhere else to be exactly as it once was, perhaps the best path is to meet it as it is now. Paradise is imperfect. Aloha coexists, albeit sometimes with frustration. Meaning comes not from the postcard but from the moments we strive to create when we arrive. It’s not automatic, and it’s not guaranteed anywhere.
Maureen is spot-on to feel sadness. But she is also right to go anyway. Even if the dream has shifted, the act of finally being there carries a meaning that no change can erase.
And soon, we will share another story from our own travels, this time from The Cook Islands, as we continue to explore how today’s destinations meet, or challenge, long-held dreams.
If you waited decades to take that once in a lifetime trip, how did it feel when you finally arrived? Did the reality live up to the dream, or was it simply too late?
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We visited in October 2023 and metaphorically feel like we stepped off the crest of the tourism wave right before it crashed into the beach. We had a mostly wonderful time in Waikiki and a spectacular time on Maui, mostly in Kihei. People were incredibly friendly, helpful and welcoming. It was not long after this that Maui declared war on vacation rentals and Hawaii as a whole began to trend towards luxury travel at the expense of average people. I swore we’d be back the day we returned to the mainland. Now? I’m not so sure.
Hawaii has reached a level of untouchable. Air fare has reached an all time high. Time share fee’s have tripled . Lahiana isn’t in any hurry. Too bad.
I’m a sixth generation descendent of the couple that taught the royal families children. I now live on the mainland (jobs are scarce in our islands) and was home this summer, teaching our children and grandchildren where they fit into Hawaiian history. I’m haole, with red hair and freckles. But I belong there as much or more than many locals. We gave service to King Kamehameha.
I have never encountered so many rude people in our precious island home as I did this summer. In many stores I was glared at and treated poorly, so I know what tourists go through. No aloha spirit any more. This is a tragic loss. No matter what some locals believe, they do not “own” these islands. To return to the time of King Kamehameha would bring a form of slavery to most Hawaiians. If the shadow of the King fell upon you you were killed. You owed your life and service to the King. Now we’ve moved past that time, thank goodness. It is our obligation and gift to share these islands with others.
It’s up to each individual to come to Hawai’i with an open mind despite what they’re ‘hearing’ about the islands. A friend asked me if I would give tips to her friend and her friend’s husband about visiting O’ahu (first timers). They were interested in hiking, snorkeling, Arizona Memorial, Hanauma Bay (closed for parking lot work)and poke! Held a couple of Zoom chats, invited them to call me once they landed should any issues arrive. They called me on day one (!) and every day after, they were in love with O’ahu. Kept sending me pictures of themselves everywhere they went! They loved O’ahu so much, they’re thinking of working a ‘travel nurse’ gig. They thanked me for all the tips on where to go, what to expect, how to conduct themselves, how to get around the island, what is shoyu (haha) etc. Said they enjoyed O’ahu more than Italy, where they spent their honeymoon. We’re planning their next trip to Hawai’i Island next spring.
We just got back from a few days on Catlina Island which is probably 90% tourist and cruise ship dependent, albeit on a much smaller scale. The local folks couldn’t have been nicer.
My wife and I will be making our 3rd trip to Oahu in the spring. I understand the challenges of Hawaii travel but it all comes down to awareness and respect. Just because you are spending a lot for your vacation does not mean you are not putting a strain on the islands and its people. I have never felt not welcome or any animosity while in Hawaii. We stay mostly in Waikiki, Honolulu and the North Shore. We are respectful and as friendly as we can be. We tip really well and try to engage locals as much as possible. Whenever I know I am talking to a local I always make sure to thank them for letting me visit their beautiful island. You’d be surprised at how much difference that little comment makes. Don’t chase the “perfect” Hawaii experience and try to find some serene out of a movie spot that’s just yours. You make the Hawaiian vacation not the other way around. Locals get attitude from entitled tourists all the time. Don’t be one of them and you may just be surprised!
Try south/tropical Japan, flight is longer and more $s but polite welcoming people, no crowds, exotic and cheap. I may try it anyway (85 years old) but you can do it and report back.
Global tourism is an increasing problem and highlights the disparities of those with disposable income and those without. The most frequent backlash heard around the world is: “My home is not your playground”.
There needs to be a new paradigm for leisure travel that recognizes and attempts to mitigate the problem of over-tourism.
While itʻs easy to feel sympathy for Maureen, to do so ignores the fact that she is simply one among far too many all craving the same experience, yet not wanting to admit they might be part of the problem.
The islands have become commercialized. I hate to see hotels demolished to bring in more upscale properties. I hate and repeat hate to see what places that made memories all gone and everything unrecognizable. It all leaves you with the feeling of “What the h**l happened? I’ll give you an example. Hawaiian Hotel where Hilton Hawaiian Village is. Gone. Trails to the lagoon.Gone. Bob’s restaurant on Kallakua. Gone. Old pineapple farms with signs of signs of people will be charged $500 for stealing pineapples. Gone. Lava statues in shops. Gone. Old international Marketplace. Gone. Miramar Hotel. Gone. Now just too many begrants, sidewalk husslers, and everybody just competing to grab the quickest buck. Sad. So who wants to go back and experience what has been changed? IMO maybe not worth the heartache. I have heard people not wanting to go back to Maui because of the way it has even changed in the last 15 years.